Monday 12 January 2015

Salerno's Italian - Tewkesbury

What happens when you collect 40 members of a single family together for a weekend? Apart from the drinking, carousing and general merrymaking, there is invariably quite a lot of 'discussion' about, well everything really. By 'discussion' I mean the kind of conversation which is about somewhat time sensitive topics, like 'we should eat dinner' but which usually doesn't actually result in any physical action.

Mrs P, the Child and I went to such an event last December and were caught in the family roundabout whose pull to inaction is stronger than the USS Enterprises tractor beam. Quangos were created, I expect there were sub-committees voted upon before finally we found ourselves in Salerno's with a splinter group who had braved the consternation of the main party and dared to leave the hotel before everyone had agreed.

Salerno's is a small family run Italian place on Tewkesbury high street, really nothing to look at from the outside but on the inside it was homely and bright with warm colours throughout giving a rustic feel. This was not high-end dining but rather wanted to give a cosy cuddle on a Friday night.

I started, as I usually do, by asking the waiter where he kept his Limoncello. His answer? 'In the fridge but we can put it in the freezer if you want'. Yes my friend, I do want. If you know where it should be, why do you put it anywhere else??



I chose the chicken risotto and Mrs P chose the seafood spaghetti. One of us chose correctly, I'll give you a hint - it was me. Both plates looked pretty good, certainly as good as a blog standard Italian restaurant in Tewkesbury could hope for. The risotto was nice, seasoned well with some lovely big shards of parmesan. The peas brought a lovely sweetness counterpoint to the salty cheese. The spaghetti was dried rather than fresh but it was the sauce that just lacked any punch. Mrs P had to add more salt which is almost unheard of. The whole table certainly ate and drank well with several bottles of wine for an almost reasonable thirty pounds per person for mains, drinks and puds to share. 

It all sounds pretty good right? Not too bad? OK? Wrong. This place was bad, so bad their Nonna and Nonno would be ashamed. Why? They served their Limoncello from the fridge. 'But Rob!' I hear you cry, 'calm down, plenty of bad Italian restaurants serve their Limoncello from the fridge, you don't break your foot off in their arse! Give these guys a break'. And I would have done, I really would if it wasn't for one fact: they knew. They knew it should have been in the freezer and they still didn't do it. For shame, shame on them.






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