Milton Keynes Food Awards - Best Local Produce catagory

Well hose me down and tickle my nipple, I've only gone and joined the judging team for the MK Food Awards 2015!

I'm still not entirely sure what the hell happened, but absurdly early on Saturday morning I found myself in front of a table in the Michelin starred Paris House (just outside Woburn), being introduced to several other esteemed members of the Milton Keynes culinary bourgeoise and preparing to face the taste test of my life. Before I introduce the competitors to you, I have to admit full disclosure here and now; I was both pleased and a little disappointed at the same time when presented with the 2015 entrants for this category. The products lined up before us collectively represented days, weeks and months of work for their producers and for that, they should all be applauded, congratulated and subject to hearty thanks. In fact, if you meet one in the pub in the near future, buy them a drink - they deserve it. However, I am convinced that they represent only a tiny proportion of the burgeoning numbers of local producers that are right here under our noses; growing, baking or simmering products that they, and their loyal customers are quite rightly proud of. We needed those here! Milton Keynes sits smack bang between Buckingham, Northampton and Bedford and we should be beating off the micro and expanding producers concentrating on sustainable products with a naturally wind felled, organic stick. Anyway, enough ranting and on to the products who had the courage to step up and be measured!

For the drinky side of things we had Old Bloomer from The Concrete Cow brewery, Original Coffee from the Cold Brew Cafe, Spirit of Silverstone Whisky from the Silverstone Brewery and some apple brandy from Virtual Orchard.

Then, because drinking whisky, apple brandy and a pint of bitter at 8:30am may not be the best idea in the world, we also had a fresh croissant from the Woodstock baker, some hot chocolate (as well as extra chocolate slabs) from the Cacao Pod, ketchup from Sinclair Condiments and lastly some Golden Raspberry Jam from Jam Moo Kow.

A huge range of different and vastly interesting flavours, on that we can all agree. Deliberations by the judging panel were fast, furious and thankfully with only a passing reference to Vin Diesel. Final decisions were eventually reached and the results will be announced at the awards ceremony on the 10th May (buy your tickets here).

The aftermath of the morning showed the consequence of ever more involved tasting, discussion, re-tasting and subsequent... tasting.

One quick shout out must be given to Paris House, our host for the morning. Not only did they make space available for us to conduct our serious judging, they also joined us in doling out justice in ice-cream scoop sized proportions and then suffered the final indignity of allowing us back-stage to watch the kitchen prepare for the lunchtime service and ask ridiculous questions such as: 'what's that gooey stuff? Why is that purple?* How long does it take to make the three million sauces, veloutes, gels and/or jellies required for your tasting menu?' Photo's were taken and bacon rolls were consumed but that is for another post.

Just to end, I now confirm that I am sworn to secrecy and would never divulge the results no matter how seduced I am by the devious temptations that may be given/forced upon me. Absolutely not. No way. For sure mister, you can do one. But just before you go, what was it you were (not) going to give me??

Ooh, I'm looking forward to the the 10th of May - it's going to be a good one!



*Seriously, remind me to talk about the purple potato dust next time. A. Maze. Ing.

Venice - Italy

Venice was... interesting. I'll be honest with you, Mrs P inserted Venice into this holiday as a baby might insert a favourite finger into their nose; it's something that she has always wanted to do and found the chance while no-one was looking. I was skeptical at first but as usual, I succumbed to her charms and so we found ourselves handing over a disproportionate amount of cash to park the car for 48 hours (70 quid) then being touted for a water taxi (a further 60 quid) before actually jumping onto the water bus (7 quid).

You may have noticed at this point that Venice was starting to look expensive, and expensive it turned out to be; so insider knowledge was required. Unfortunately, unlike in Verona, our house host was not so useful either at telling us where to eat or explaining why the walls were covered in what I can only describe as tantalising pictures of ladies in various states of undress. Thankfully, The Child and The Child's Sister were too tired to pay any attention, whereas I on the other hand... <ahem>, well enough about me.

You will be glad to know then that the food crisis was averted when the Family P got talking to a very nice lady from Kent and her son on the public Gondola (1 quid each as opposed to 80 quid for a 'private' session*). She pointed out that while Venice has osteria's everywhere, these small cafes/bistros are 99% miss and 1% hit. The tourist trade is so integrated into the city that you can seemingly open a kitchen, put a couple of chairs out on the street and you'll have people sitting down ordering drinks before you've gone back inside. 

She pointed us towards a small osteria hidden in a courtyard off a back street, round the side of a church accessed by a small arch. She assured us that in the 25 years of visiting Venice, Osteria del Milion was thankfully one of the 1% and with starters of ham as well as a prawn salad we can't say we disagreed. We were hungry so photos weren't the first thing on our mind but once that first h-angry hurdle was reached, we managed to slow down.

Homemade gnocchi with tomato sauce was light and as fluffy as a cloud on a spring day  and spaghetti with mussels was also spot on with bold, bright flavours. But it was the artichoke tagolini in a simple butter and pepper sauce that really hit the spot. The creamy pasta and buttery sauce was beautifully married with the in-season soft artichoke heart.

This lunch of champions was followed by another gelato.  We found this nondescript place by getting hopelessly lost through the maze of Venice and I would love to be able to tell you where it was, but quite honestly I have no idea. Perhaps the power of the inter webs can converge in the comments below and inform us all.  What I can tell you though is that it served epic, handmade, homemade gelato. 

It was in Venice that we also discovered chocolate Fonzies. Chocolate coated crisps; as minging as that might sound, I can confirm that actually these were great. So great, in fact, that we immediately went out and bought another packet. Sad I know.  But, anything that kept the kids energised and enthused was 'a good thing'.

So there we have it.  We've got a couple of winners, as well as one where we (yes, even I, with all my research) fell foul of the disappointing 'Venetian' foodie trap. It fell so far below the 99% mentioned above we couldn't even be bothered to take any photos before we left with disappointment in our hearts (I'm looking at you Hotel Salute Venezia) and a wallet almost £100 lighter. Bad, bad times!

Lastly, I must claim full disclosure and say that Venice has some unfinished business for Mrs P and I. The last place to be added to the itinerary seems to be the first place we want to return to, but perhaps without the children. Believe me when I say that you have not known stress until you have visited a Venetian mask shop (where the average price never drops below 300 Euro) with The Child's Sister. 

At least she was happy and if I didn't know the Italian for 'she breaks it, you buy it' before, I do now. 

And now time for some gratuitous photo's of The Child in an almost deserted San Marco's Square before the Cruise liners vomit their Saga membershiped guts over it's beautiful streets and, for my money, a quintessential example of the Venice view, but from a completely anonymous and tourist free canal - fabulous.

*Well, I say private but considering that the canals are only 10 feet apart, we thankfully still got to share each beautiful moment with every passing American honeymooner who spanked 80 quid on impressing their just-wife.

Verona - Italy

Holidays are great and glorious things. They are glimpses of joy during years of otherwise relentless drudgery and soul-dissolving daily pain. Needless to say Mrs P and I were looking forward to this, and so with sunshine in our hearts, we skipped like care-free gazelles onto our British Airways chariot of pleasure. It was a tour* of northern Italy, starting in Verona, leading off to Venice then back to Lake Garda. But first, Verona:

We stayed using Airbnb for the first time and were really impressed. It is a great way to explore new places through the eyes of the residents. During our few days in Verona we stayed in an apartment on Via della Valverde which was perfectly situated away from the touristy centre filled with school trips and Americans all looking to get as much Shakespeare in their life as possible. However, quite apart from the commercial generated sales of 'Romeo and Juliet cake' and the general 20% mark-up on anything within a 1 mile radius of the central Arena (which is indescribably awesome by the way), we managed to hit up a couple of really amazing plates.

Firstly, sourced through a tip from the lovely lady who hosted us in the apartment, Bella Napoli was excellent in almost every respect. An immense slab of pizza cooked to crispy based perfection with suitably simple topping options: red, white or fish. When you order this big fella (1 metre in length) you get one third red (tomato and basil), one third white (mozzarella with a touch of bacon) and one third fish (tomato sauce with anchovy).

This along with a starter of sliced salami and caprese (tomato and mozzella with oil and seedy sprinkles) was loads for two adults and two kids. The mixed salami was salty, meaty and rich with a deep smoky taste of Italy, the tomato was fresh and zingy then muted by the milky cream of the cheese. This meal stood out with it's simplicity and was a perfect start to our time in Verona.

The next eatable of note was the Gelato shop on the corner. Mrs P and I had been using 'Gelato' as a code for treats for The Child but it wasn't more than 24 hours into our trip when the penny dropped and we had to take cover from a bombardment that NATO would be proud of. We decided to start as we meant to go on and cracked early - the place was a mecca for gelato aficionados, such as The Child. Not only did they have a wall of flavour choices all in Italian (so she had to literally try every. Single. One.), but also a tap that dispensed chocolate sauce. Chocolate sauce, out of a tap. They also do crepes and other deserts which is entirely pointless, because we only ever saw people ordering gelato, and they did this a lot - an ice cream shop open until 1am every Saturday night? Now you understand the popularity of this place.  Or perhaps further proof, if it was required, was the enormous and permanent queue out of the door!  

Favourite flavours as tested by the family P included (but were not limited to): cookie, white mint (as opposed to the luminous snot green version we get over here), salted caramel, milk chocolate, biscotti, lemon sorbet and 1947 cream. The 1947 flavour was particularly interesting as it tasted almost lemony with a creamy and sweet condensed milk base. Oh, and they also make ice-cream cakes, and I know what you're thinking, but this isn't some soggy boxed, Mums gone to Iceland, 3 for a fiver, money saving special offer. Oh no, this is the real deal.

There was also a little shop opposite the apartment, it sold a little bit of cheese, a little bit of salami and a whole lot of wine. And while this was technically sold by the bottle, I was not quite expecting the lady to whip out an empty 1 litre sparkling water bottle and fill it up from the massive vats on one side of the wall. 

However, the truth be told, at 1.80 euros it tasted good... after I had drunk half of it.

Finally, while wandering through the city centre, I spotted a restaurant plying it's patter with the passing trade and once I finished sniggering to myself, I couldn't help feeling that the joke was somewhat lost on the locals.  

And also I couldn't resist these:

Cheesy nik-naks with a hint of Happy Days? Eeeeehhhy.


www.airbnb.com
www.bellanapoliverona.it
www.gelateriaromana.com
@GelateriaRomana



I did not (unfortunately) receive any payment or freebies from any companies mentioned above.


* A tour in as much as we went to three different places, but 'tour' sounds much more impressive when you describe it to other people.

The Smoke Stop - Shrewsbury

So there I was, taking some time to visit my brother when he only went and found a new BBQ joint that had only gone and opened recently. He had originally planned that we visit for an evening soiree on a Saturday night which was unfortunately scuppered by the fact that I spent the afternoon, and the evening, plus most of the night suffering from a rather annoying lack of being able to stand up. However given a decent amount of sleep and some applicable medication, the next morning I was back on course and determined to get me some smoked pig.

The place is big, modern, clean and impressively American. It certainly reminded me of my time in Memphis with the atmosphere being warm, friendly and full of cheer despite the blustery day outside. We were the first in through the door at a minute past 12 and shown to our booth before being shown the menu. The kids had the mac + cheese and hot dog respectively which were pretty good on first inspection.

I liked the macaroni and The Child managed to see most of it away. The portion sizes were impressive but I'm afraid the Hot dog was not up to muster. Exactly what you would expect a mechanically reclaimed meat tube in a classic* bun to taste like, but it was at least grilled and had decent char. Other than that, the kids loved the corn on the cob - an excellent addition in side dishes where most restaurants fail at providing even a half healthy supplement.

Mrs P went with the burger with added pulled pork:

An excellent stab even if I do say so. It may have been the happy tablets talking but given the absurd amount of burgers consumed over the last few weeks this one held up well, even if it wasn't quite to the Five Guys standard and the addition of the pulled pork brought it back into contention. The slaw was also tasty with Mrs P remarking that it certainly brought a crunchy third dimension to the tray. Not pictured here was the IMMENSE bowl of onion rings she ordered. I'm not sure I can quite describe the scale of the task that was placed in front of her but with crispy batter and a strong onion-y twang they provided a challenge that she dived into with enthusiasm but her plan, just like Captain Scott's foolhardy South Pole winter holiday, was attempted despite all signs to the contrary and as such she was ultimately doomed.

My brother and I had only one choice, everything. The #lovemeattenderplatter** contained in no particular order: pulled pork, beef brisket, pork short ribs, pork spare ribs, smoked sausage, buffalo wings, chips and onion rings***

The BBQ sauce was heavy on the tomato base that most of us in the UK seem to know as 'BBQ'. It would have been nice to see an attempt to educate the locals to the wider examples that  BBQ cuisine includes, even if the main sellers are the expected sweet and smoky base. Clearly these guys are proud of their product and the sausage, ribs and brisket were all great. My bro loved the sausage and I have to say that it was a lovely addition you don't often see. A great, course but still densely packed sausage that has spent some time in the smoker to get that nice smoke ring on the inside, this should have been what's in those Hot Dogs. The pulled pork was a little dry for me but looking at the bark I can see how much effort they went to to get the authentic taste. To mis-quote Swiss Tony, a good pulled pork is very much like a beautiful woman, it's the magic balance of fat distribution that turns any evening into a moist revelation. However, the rub could have brought far more to the table, my overriding memory of pulled pork at the Memphis BBQ Championships was that burst of sweet, salty, smoky layering making the dish different to anything I had expected. This didn't hit those heights still, the bark was good and dense with a savoury punch. 

The shake menu was amazing and had some unique flavours including bubble gum or marshmallow, we preferred the salty caramel which was enjoyed by the whole table. The marshmallow flavour not so much. The ribs were served wet and lovely, both the spare and the short versions were great, beautifully smoked with a bit of bounce these were one of the first items to go and were perfect for sharing out but again a more powerful rub wouldn't have gone amiss here. However, the brisket was likewise really good and we both enjoyed it, tender and full of beefy flavour. 

The Smoke Stop should be applauded for trying to bring genuine American BBQ to almost-Wales. As such it almost succeeds but I don't hold that against it at all. There's too much pork for proper Texan style, no mustard sauce for Carolina style, not enough rub for Memphis style so is this Kansas style? It is certainly UK style and clearly it must cater to the local market but I hope it can also try to bring over a few of those other key flavours that I love, and I think others will also love about BBQ. At £70 for lunch for 3 adults and two kids, it's not a cheap option but you certainly won't walk away hungry.

Oh, and when I asked to see their smoker, they said they were too busy. Boo.

http://smokestopbbq.co.uk


* when I say 'classic' I don't mean it in a good way.
** the use of a hashtag on a menu item seemed a little odd at the time and doesn't get any better in repeat
*** In retrospect the choice of more onion rings, once we saw the portion provided to Mrs P, was clearly madness 

The Begging Bowl - Peckham

London. London contains many different people, most of whom I don't really want to meet. The two guys sat next to us on the shared bench at The Begging Bowl however were the total antithesis of this perspective, being some of the nicest people I have had the pleasure to meet. Not only did they open their conversation by complimenting my sister-in-law on her hair (which instantly provided bonus points with both my Sister-in-law and Mrs P) but also gave a blurring list of local places that we had to go and book a table at IMMEDIATELY.  And this concept lies at the heart of why I like The Begging Bowl, the atmosphere was absolutely fantastic. 

It's a small room with limited tables which spill out onto the pavement outside where everyone sits cheek by jowl so get comfy or get going. The menu is brief and devoid of such clutter as starters or mains. Everything on the menu is to share and sharing is absolutely vital because otherwise you have no hope of trying everything that you should. The recommendation is to order five dishes between two people but I can assure you that if we had followed that advice (there were four of us plus The Child) we would have been absolutely destroyed. Dishes come as and when cooked by the kitchen which basically means they cook one dish at a time for the entire restaurant. Plates of salad are distributed, followed by another wave of beef, or squid or, well you get the picture. It's an interesting process but it meant that we sometimes waited quite a while for our next dish to come through. Luckily the rice is unlimited in both sticky and jasmine varieties, which is probably another reason why following the five dish endorsement is an act of lunacy.

First we had some fish cakes - I enjoyed these, crunchy and juicy. Sweet chilli sauce gave a great accompaniment to the salty fishy balls. I did think though that these tasted almost exactly like mine so I would be worried if I didn't like them. Not spectacular but very solid, otherwise I wouldn't make them like this myself.

Prawns with coconut sticky rice (wrapped in the banana leaf) and covered in some kind of magical brown sludge that tasted of milk supped from the very teat of Aphrodite the Goddess of Love herself. The Child and I couldn't physically control ourselves and physically fought the other members of the table for the final morsel. We shared the heads between us, sucking on the cavities for every last drop of the sweet, rich, nutty prawny gunge. We liked this one.

Stir fry greens were the unexpected surprise of the evening, these were peppery, crunchy and superb. Everyone liked them.

On the other hand the 'Son-in-law eggs' were, while expertly deep fried with a runny centre and crunchy outer coating, eggs. I'm sure loads of people will love these but me? More prawns please.

Soft beef short rib was sweet with a deep sugar taste, possibly brown sugar or palm sugar in the mix here and it was high on the list for a couple of the party. I have to confess that sweet beef won't be making my top ten best eats but it was still good and the plate was finished then licked clean. Literally.

An entire sea bream cooked in a salt crust was perfectly delish but it was that dipping sauce that was heavy on the fish sauce, heavy on the coriander, heavy on the vinegar and mega heavy on the birds eye chilli that got eyebrows raised and people gesturing with cutlery.  This one was super good

Pork belly with crackling was... OK. The belly was good but not great being quite chewy towards the bottom but the soy and the crackling were brill. I tried to work out what was in the violently red dip but couldn't get it. It was a bit flaccid and just couldn't compete amid a meal of serious flavour contenders.

This pomelo salad was the last thing out and by this time we were all glad to slow down a bit. A pomelo is a bit like a bitter grapefruit and not much of anything by itself but stick that on a plate with some salad leaves, coriander and nuts and we've got ourselves a party. 

The upshot of The Begging Bowl is that we had some real highlights and other plates that were fairly standard. All in for four and a half people plus drinks the bill came to just over £100 which, for a Friday night in London is pretty good. Put it on your list and go if you get the opportunity, you won't regret it. Just one word of advice; don't fall into the trap of ordering five plates per couple unless you want to start scraping plates into your pocket to eat on the bus ride home.

http://www.thebeggingbowl.co.uk

Five Guys - Leicester Square

What's the thing about burgers at the moment? There seems to be a recognition that burgers don't have to be limited to the lowest common denominator or differentiation based solely on sticking an entire roast dinner between two buns. As such, premium burger brands such as Byron, Ed's and Five Guys have made significant in-roads into the UK with their attempts to re-educate the British view of burgers away from a 99p, microwavable grey rubber bullet that is only legally defined as edible. 

According to the local twitter-talk we are about to get a Five Guys in MK and everyone was talking about how amazing they were dharling. So as Mrs P and I walked past Leicester Square, the place pulled us in with their beefy tractor beam. That smelled of burgers.

Firstly, a quick note on the Five Guys concept - think Maccy D's serving Byron burgers. Many people will have issues with that description and yes, it does do Five Guys a slight disservice, however getting a decent bun at the speed of a dirty burger has got to be a good thing however it happens. Next a note on the menu - you've got a big burger, little burger or hotdog. That's it. True, you can choose cheese, bacon or both but if you're looking for a rodeo b-rex royale burger served your way with extra special sauce then jog on by my friend.

So let's crack on, after we got through the queue outside to join the queue inside (mmm, interesting concept), we had free nuts. Free nuts is good but what blew my mind is imagining how the Sam Hill they managed to roast and salt the things inside the shells. Perhaps there is probably a perfectly understandable process that allows this black magic to happen but damn, inside the shells people.

Then we ordered two cheese burgers, one drink (refillable - we're not paying for two of those, Mrs P and I share everything, even germs) and a regular fries. All extras* were free to add if we wanted, but we stuck to grilled onions to keep the purist form and get as much burger as possible. Speaking of which:

Wrapped in some weird not-quite-foil these burgers were cooked to order and delivered at a pace. Five Guys bang the drum loudly for the quality of their burgers and rightly so, these were not your homogenous chain product or even the grease dripping pre-formed pre-frozen burger pellets served from your local burger van. These were the real deal. 

Oh Yeah. All burgers are served well done (although Mrs P's was more medium), course and juicy, the cheese was gooey, creamy and probably very bad for you and the ratio of mayo to ketchup was bang on. Basically the whole thing screamed STOP TAKING PHOTOS AND EAT ME. So naturally I obliged, in short, this was the best burger I've eaten in a very (very) long time. But what about the chips?

We went for the cajan spice but I wouldn't recommend it going forward. These are not award  winning fries and the spicy dust didn't hide that. They had salt and proper Sarson's vinegar on the side as well as more ketchup for dipping and I think that would have been my preferred option; keep it simple. Particularly because the 'regular' portion consisted of the above cup plus a scoop:

More than enough for two. For drinks I was particularly ecstatic to see my old friend the multi-flavour-multi-drink machine back in action, these things are awesome!

Final judgement then -  the highest compliment I can give the Five Guys burger is that it is now the standard burger from which all others will be judged. If it doesn't reach this level then it isn't worth your money. There is room for Five Guys and Byron, for me they don't directly compete. Is Five Guys better than Byron then? Well, I'm not sure about that, but that is only because there is no 'best'. Byron are going for a sit down restaurant vibe while Five Guys look at the gourmet fast-food corner. Both have a place and it's great that we are starting to get picky about the better parts of the American culinary habits we bring over. Looking forward to the MK opening - bring it on!

www.fiveguys.co.uk




*extras such as: lettuce, mayo, ketchup, mustard, pickles, tomatoes, grilled mushrooms, grilled onions, raw onions, peppers, relish, jalapeños, HP sauce, BBQ sauce, hot sauce. So yeah, we kept it light.

Buddies USA - on the A5 roundabout between Deanshanger and Milton Keynes

I think that breakfast is a meal that the British haven't really got to grips with yet. In general, we tend to go with either toast and coffee, or sausage, scrambled eggs, fried eggs, hash browns, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, bacon and some fried bread if you're still hungry. There doesn't seem to be anything in between and it is in this fine tradition that Mrs P, The Child and I decided to find out how the land of the free and the home of the lardy do it by visiting Buddies USA.

I have to say that we've often driven past Buddies and the place has always been rammed - I mean packed out and even when we were there during breakfast, people were waiting in the foyer for tables. So, to celebrate the first meal after a month of culinary lock-down, we invited/forced our new neighbours to join us - a party isn't a party unless there is at least two people there who wish they were somewhere else, right?

The menu reflects the country of it's birth well by being both American and massive. It had pretty much anything you could want for breakfast from a ten item egg section (that weirdly doesn't contain scrambled fried or poached), through to various steak options via waffles and pancakes. I decided to go with the waffle, maple bacon and spicy potato option because clearly waffles don't contain enough carbs for the day so I need a shovel full of fried potato on my plate.

The maple bacon was really nice, thick and salty/sweet and definitely the star of the show. The waffles were a bit so-so if I'm I'm brutal, either they weren't on the iron for long enough or it wasn't hot enough but it just didn't have the crispy outer and fluffy inner that I want from a premium waffle. And what can I say about the potato cubes? Well, after I got over the fact that I was basically eating the breakfast equivalent of a curly fry, I came to the conclusion that they were OK. Bite sized pieces of warming taters together with the sweet, salty bacon and filling waffle gave me a breakfast my stomach could really work with... for the rest of the day. Portion size was, of course, monstrous but that was why we went and you can't argue with the people lurking like obese vultures, ready to swoop in to our empty seats and engulf our still warm buttock imprints with an appetite only matched by the size of their arse.

Oh yeah, I can't forget the train that rolls around the ceiling, an actual train. Now that's pretty cool.

www.buddiesrestaurants.com