Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Chateau Neubourg Pilsner

Bloody hell it’s hot. With temperatures set to hit levels that would cook sausages on a car bonnet*, there is only one course of action; break out the beer. Now I am the first to admit that I'm fickle when it comes to alcohol consumption, I've not got a go-to brand that I prefer and I don’t even drink ale/lager/stout/cider to the exclusion of all others. I am an alcoholic kerb crawler who will give my money to anything that looks like it might make me happier for a short time. So if it’s a cold cider or perry, an iced lager or even a frozen margarita so long as it’s cold: I'm a happy man. In fact, there is only one thing better than a frosted snifter on a hot day, and that is a free frosted snifter on a hot day.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to Chateau Neubourg Pilsner:



Let me take this opportunity to say clearly that on a day so hot that even camels need to retreat to the pool, I fully endorse and categorically recommend without hesitation a free bottle of Chateau Neubourg. Let me also say that technically, I may have stolen this beer. You see, there was a sign saying ‘Beer is great, come this way for beer’**, and at the bottom of the sign there was a crate of beer. So I took one. I apologise unreservedly for this action but in my defence, if they weren't for the taking then perhaps another choice of ballast may be more sensible.

So on the assumption that I did not steal anything and that my conscience is clear of any bad karma, a quick discussion on the merits of this pilsner is perfectly acceptable, right? Once you have acknowledged the fact that drinking a free Arcticly cold beer on a day like today is like filling your world with joy from the inside out, you can start to appreciate the subtleties of the golden and smooth glass of social beverage before you. I hope I've made it quite clear that I am not a beer connoisseur but I found CN to be unique, in a good way. It is light but with a clear and definitively clean taste unlike any of the UK based lagers or even the current crop of Belgian pilsners that are invading our supermarket shelves. The taps of the All Bar One’s across the land are groaning with continental pilsners which, in their own way are very tasty but CN is, without question a different proposition with noticeably less gas which in my opinion can only be a positive. The tasting ‘notes’ on the website refer to a fruity finish and while I can’t lay claim to that particular taste sensation, I can tell you that there is something floral about it, perhaps it’s the ‘low fermentation’ or the ‘organic hops’, to be honest I don’t know and I don’t care. What I do know is that if you see it on offer, it’s well worth your time and money. So much so that if The Blue Bottle Company see this post and want their £2.08p, just let me know and I’ll happily cough up.

This post was fully funded by a bottle of beer from The Blue Bottle Company who were (possibly) giving away free bottles of happiness at the Waddesdon Manor Feast Festival.





*don’t do this, you’ll make yourself ill. Take it from a man who knows; believing something is a good idea at the time, won’t protect you from the tsunami of chunder that will inevitably ensue.


**I may be paraphrasing.

Monday, 22 June 2015

Fathers Day - Feast Festival at Waddesdon Manor and The Bell Inn at Beachampton

There are few days in the year that dads are afforded much in the way of freedom to dictate the activities of the family for a period of more than two hours, or is that just my family...? But Fathers day is one of those days and today I managed to direct Family P to drive down to Waddesdon Manor and experience their 'Feast Festival'. We've been to the Manor before so I thought I knew what to expect but I was first perturbed when it became clear just how many people had also decided to make use of the beautiful day and descend on Aylesbury like a plague of human sized locusts who live on artisan coffee and rare breed sausages.




Apologies for the dark photo, I'm not sure how that happened, the blackberry gods must have been reaching across the globe to close down the company one handset at a time. 

The event was so well supported by visitors that at one point I was wondering if we would be able to get round, out and back again for our lunch reservation. But I shouldn't have worried for despite the immense number of visitors, there wasn't actually that many stalls to look at. True, we spent some time looking at some very interesting charcuterie from Chiltern Charcuterie (I wish I had managed to take more of their air dried venison away), chatted to Auberge-du-Chocolat and got talked into some frankly awesome local chocolate and I'm always a sucker for some proper marshmallows so once I saw this sign I know I had to reach for my wallet:




Chocolate and vanilla in the bag here, I'd already eaten the raspberry and white chocolate and the mint.

Of course, arriving at lunch time did not help us as every single food vendor was heaving, with queues stretching over multiple stalls. We didn't get to try such interesting delights as Hix's Fish Dogs or the SYK Smoke Yard Kitchen, mainly due to a constant and nerve jangling whine from The Child which told us that lunch could be postponed no longer. Waiting 20 mins to get through a queue wasn't something I could handle and so walked on until we got to Flame by Passion For Food who had hooked up some kind of amazing transportable rotisserie and were churning out tasty chicken and chips for 5 quid a pop (Mrs P loved, loved, loved the home made aioli by the way):



View from the queue.




So while the final verdict on the Feast Festival is "good, with some great features", I think it's a work in progress and needs to be widened out a bit (two coffee vans? Were there really no other takers for the pitches?). I'll certainly get in there early next year to make sure I get to try a lot more of everything. On a non-food related note, the entertainment was excellent! Bands and other street performers made for a brilliant family atmosphere with everyone sitting on the lawns eating. So much so that I ended up with a bird on my head, which proved to be absolutely hilarious... for everyone else.



The Children's activity tent was also brill with treasure maps and a odd but fascinating mosaic related activity which I couldn't quite fathom.





Oh, and The Child made a gingerbread man that she claimed was me, or her, or possibly a ghost.



Either way, it's pretty damn scary I think you'll agree.

http://www.chiltern-charcuterie.co.uk/

http://aubergechocolat.co.uk/

http://www.hixrestaurants.co.uk/hixsfishdog/

http://www.smokeyardkitchen.com/

http://www.passion-for-food.co.uk/

http://mellomallo.co.uk/

After which fun and frolics, we went on to lunch at The Bell Inn, The pub itself is a lovely looking building in a beautiful village. They've recently had a new kitchen team brought in by the same guys who own The Old Thatched Inn in Adstock and so after hearing this news over a pint last week I eagerly signed up to host my dad.

The bar was great, the service was great even the toilets were great, but the food?







Well, the roast was pretty standard I'm afraid. Dad's haddock was, I'm told, 'really good' but this is a from a man who would eat a cardboard box if it was covered in tzatziki. Good big portions were present all round but the roast pork option came sans crackling which had to be ordered separately and with a significantly smaller proportion of porky goodness than the bloke's next to me, boo. The veg was good but not stella and the bakewell slice was particularly pleasant and provided a sweet finish without creating fireworks. 

One point of note was The Child's cheesy pasta, which was nice but came in such a leviathan-eske portion size that even she on her best cheese related day couldn't have taken down. 



Kudos to The Bell Inn for effort but I'm afraid we couldn't quite get to the bottom of the bowl.

In summary, The Bell Inn is local with great beer and I might be tempted to try the food again if I've had a few social beverages but it could certainly take some lessons from the Bell and Bear on how to work up a local menu.

Monday, 8 June 2015

The Hanoi Bike Shop - Glasgow (and other stories)

I am, on occasion, asked to go to Glasgow for work and do stuff relating to that work for a period of time. Sometimes I have the opportunity to look around, sometimes not but on my last visit, I found myself at a loose end for an hour or so over lunch time. I had also changed hotels from my usual Holiday Inn Express as my booking had not been processed correctly and I couldn't get a room, to the Hilton Grosvenor Gardens because it was the closest at the same price. Say what???? I can get a room at the Hilton for the same price as a Holiday Inn Express but the beer costs a fiver a pint?? Something is seriously bobbins there Glasgow, you best look at that.

I've also noticed that finding lunch on your own can be a weirdly daunting experience for people. You can wander up and down an unfamiliar street looking in the windows thinking 'Do I want that? Is it too expensive? That looks a bit fancy, but at the same time I don't want a chicken sandwich and a pasty from Greggs', and before you know it, you've wasted the better part of three quarters of an hour not finding anything that you want and so you go to Greggs anyway. 

Anyway, the point is that I was in the middle of this process as I walked up and down Byres Road which under normal circumstances would not be something I would have time to do. I even went into Subway before realising my mistake as the average age of those around me plummeted to roughly the same as my shoe size. I backed out and was about to continue in my journey of despair when I saw this:


Vietnamese street food in Glasgow? Intriguing. I hurried through the door and stopped as the smell of fish sauce hit me; subtle, it was not. While I was recovering though, I made use of the opportunity to look around and while I didn't get the chance to snap many pics of the inside, I've had to rely on Google for the following:





If anyone sees these and cares enough to contact me, I'll take them down but until then they give you a great idea of the style the Hanoi Bike Shop or (HBS) is going for. What it doesn't convey though is how busy it was, even on a Wednesday lunch time, the place was doing good service, and it's the kind of back street cave in which I could see people (and by people I mean myself) losing many hours over lunch, snacks and dinner all washed down with plenty of booze.

I think it's safe to say that I absolutely loved it. A fantastically unusual setting, a (what I can only assume to be) authentically inspired menu and their own home made chilli and fish sauces on every table (oop, there it is). The only things missing were the oppressive humidity and sweating Americans, other than that I could have been transported to the jungles of Lao Cai.




I was sat next to what I thought was the smallest kitchen in the world but what actually turned out to be simply a forward staging post and chose a chicken Banh Mi to see if it measured up to those that have gone before. I was reassured that it is pretty bloody tasty - although the meat was a little on the pink and juicy side so I was close to deciding that discretion may be the better part of valour. But if it was a bit dodge, the Parkes cast-iron stomach managed to see off any issues nicely and I wasn't hindered by any subsequent hurried trips to the bathroom.




The main event itself was good, the pickled veg was crisp with a bit of punch and the chicken pate was strong with iron-y taste. Any good sandwich has filling that is only defined by how much falls out of it and I was pleased to see that this one had more than enough to fall on to the plate, splurge all over my face and get into my gob all at the same time. If the chicken thigh had been spiced or marinated I couldn't tell but the whole thing was well seasoned and a great example of something this country is horribly lacking: high street culinary variety.

Personally, I could have done with something with a bit more of a chilli kick, but then that's what the additional sauce is there for I guess and the dipping pot was good with vinegar and sugar but again, I was expecting more heat. However, for a little over six quid and a drink on top, given the choice between Subway and the HBS, what's not to like? I'd love to go back and try the evening menu - maybe next time I'm in town.

Oh, and I also ate this, although thankfully not in the HBS:



A pasty shaped item that has somehow succeeded in evading detection and has been classified as edible but in reality has to be one of the most unpleasant things to enter my mouth for many years. Some kind of pseudo sausage based filling which, I was reliably informed by the girl at the till, could be eaten either hot or cold. I would recommend neither and if you see one, don't eat it. I warned you. 


http://www.thehanoibikeshop.co.uk

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

The Bell and Bear - Emberton

Remember last year when three years was definitely, absolutely and without question not a long time to be married? Well, Mrs P and I just hit number four and good grief it has to be said that last year went past quicker than a Jeremy Clarkson right hook. Therefore, in celebration of Mrs P's super human ability to put up with me for another year, I booked a little surprise for her. Newly voted the restaurant making best use of local ingredients at the Milton Keynes Food Awards, The Bell and Bear pub is like a Mille feuille in a shoebox. A classy and endearing shoebox don't get me wrong, a shoebox that has withstood the test of time and originally contained your granddad's pair of Oxfords that have now been re-soled a few thousand times but only look more classic because of it. A shoebox that, until recently had been used for holding string, screws and a few other bits that your Grandad was convinced would be useful one day so he had better keep hold of them just in case. But then, you open the lid and what you are greeted with is not a lolly stick and a strange bit of tin foil, but a lovingly crafted (if a bit rough round the edges, which is understandable considering it's in a shoe box) slab of unadulterated, unapologetic joy in food form.

The menu, reads a bit like a list of 'things the chef likes to cook' which, at first, does make it seem a little disjointed.  



But it certainly didn't stop Mrs P and and I pouring over it like a pair of dribbling infants with a brief discussion involving the practicalities of ordering 'one of everything please', during which time we were presented with a pea veloute amuse bouche in a shot glass:



It's a rubbish photo but you get the idea, the chives on the top packed a fantastically strong punch and the oil (I think it was basil oil but I couldn't swear to it) sat well too. The peas were sweet and the texture was as smooth as you like. Perhaps needing a little more salt to give it a bit more oompf but that's not a criticism, simply a preference as Mrs P so delicately reminded me as she sipped hers down. You can also see here a few of the confetti hearts the team had liberally decorated our table with. Subtle it was not, but as a way of personally connecting with the diner, that little bit of effort went a long way; Mrs P absolutely loved it.

We then we really got started. First came the brisket and gyoza.





Mrs P won this round with her choice of dumpling, the crispy shells giving way to a beautifully sweet prawny, gingery centre with the sharp tang of the coriander dressing below - fabulous, I need to have this recipe in my life. Don't get me wrong, the brisket wasn't bad at all, the herby garlic bread was a joy to sink my teeth into and the pickled garlic and onions were great with the salad and parmesan cheese shavings. The brisket itself was good, soft and yielding but with a little too much of the mayo dressing. But once you put the salad and the beef on the bread though, you can see the whole thing off before you realise it. Or at least I did.




Our evening got even better though when the mains arrived - pork and beef, both looking great. And wouldn't you know it Mrs P got the better of me once again. I knew she loved a good steak and this was an absolute beauty, soft and a perfect testament to the quality of locally produced meat that The Bell sources from just down the road (along with a dab hand in the kitchen of course).  In all honesty, I was pretty lucky to get a forkful at all! The matchstick'd fries were thin and excellent but it was the gravy that brought everything together. This gravy was a perfect masterclass in liquid meat perfection, well done sir. If there was any negative, it was that Mrs P found the cheese sauce to be a bit too pungent but then, she's not into that sort of thing anyway.

My pork was great from start to finish, the shoulder, the loin, the potato and yes, the gravy. It was the greens that stole the show however, what the chef did to that chard I have no idea but it was phenomenal. The apple sauce was lovely, a bit tart and sweet at the same time and was scraped up eagerly.

Because it was a special occasion, or more to the point because Mrs P wouldn't let me get away with just ordering cheese, we had three puds. 





The cheese choice was wide and really tasty with strong punchy flavours, I was told that 'the cheese man' comes regularly and so new cheeses arrive weekly - and well he might because these should be so popular that they won't last long in the kitchen. The chocolate tart was pretty, a solid example of the genre and thus was put away in short order. The strawberries likewise with special mention reserved for the foam which again, went down a treat. Although I think it's fair to say that pastry is not the chef's favourite part of the kitchen, let me be clear that this is not a criticism. An enjoyable meal is more than technically perfect food at every turn; environment, ambience and atmosphere are hugely important in a diners experience. Boring lack lustre puddings should named and shamed in under performing venues that don't care what they put out to the customer, but at The Bell and Bear the sweetie course just feels like a work in progress, watch this space and you can bet they'll be on it like a tramp on chips. 

You know what? I get it. I totally get what The Bell and Bear are trying to do; start with the food and people will come, everything else can be improved one step at a time. The distillation of what a modern British pub should be is all here: Good food, good beer, good company and a game of skittles out the back. There is so much to love in the ingredients of this area that the kitchen clearly thinks that everyone else is mental for not cooking it. Why on earth would you settle for a microwaved burger or a oven warmed pre-frozen chicken wing when you can enjoy beef reared in a field from ten miles away, or vegetables freshly picked and delivered by a bloke named Fred that stops for a cheeky pint afterwards. And I agree. People want that, I want that. I want to know that these guys are cooking for the local school kids and in the process teaching them (and us) what good food is supposed to taste like. I want to have a pub that recognises that it's all about giving out that community spirit and wants to improve our understanding of what we should expect from our local boozer. I want a pub that stands up to be different among the horrendous gastro tosserati, I want The Bell and Bear, and you should too. 


Look and book:

www.bellandbear.net

Friday, 29 May 2015

Working Lunch - Euphorium Bakery, Watford

Hands up if you have ever heard of paysan bread... No-one? Then let me educate you a little; according to the source of all truth in the universe that is Wikipedia:

Burebrot, Bauernbrot, Pain paysan or Pane del nonno (English: Farmers' bread) is a bread made in Switzerland. "Bauernbrot" is also made in Germany. Unlike most other breads, which are mainly composed of flour, yeast and water, theBurebrot also contains milk.

Proof that I didn't make this up (and quite frankly, why would I want to?):



Now that we are all up to speed with the concept of paysan bread, I can start talking about Euphorium and my lunch.

The Euphorium Bakery was an artisan bakery chain in London specialising in bread and cake products. Everything seemed to be going fine, with a central bakery supplying seemingly unheard of and possibly even made-up types of breads to a small number of shops around the capital. That all changed when Tesco 'invested' in them, which apparently included installing a Tesco employee as CEO and then rolling out the Euphorium brand in their stores under the impression of an independent brand. There seems to be some confusion on the interwebs over whether Emphorium will totally replace the standard bakery section in all Tesco stores but this only started to become clearer to me the more I investigated after I walked into Tesco in Watford for some lunch. I even asked the staff behind the counter if Euphorium was part of Tesco but they seemed very uncomfortable to confirm or deny the question at hand.

So, on first impressions Euphorium seem to be going for the Pret vibe with the colour scheme and text based signs. However, on closer inspection things start to unravel:



Have you got any idea what that actually means? According to the Human Rights Act 1998, I have the right to life, the right to liberty and the right to a free trial but I'm afraid that I am yet to be convinced that the right to be confused by obscure and pointless marketing is one for which I will launch an angry assault on Downing Street to protect.

Instead, I'll stick with my crayfish sandwich thanks very much, and I'm sure you are all chomping at the bit to know what this tasted like. Well, I can tell you that it was... OK. The paysan bread was dense and a bit like a wholemeal sourdough and without anything else to compare it to, I can only really tell you that it wasn't as nice as a non-wholemeal sourdough. However, I think that was probably due to the fact that it has been sat in a chiller cabinet for however long and was way too cold. The crayfish and rocket were pretty good but the Rose Marie sauce was strong and seriously sweet, too sweet for the rocket to withstand which was a real shame.




I accompanied this with a bottle of Breckland Orchard's Dandelion and Burdock, which I have to say was bloody lovely. 




Was it too sweet considering the sugary sauce drenching the crayfish and rocket? Yes, of course but it's a unique taste hits all my buttons and this version is tippy top. It aint cheap at £2.20 per bottle but if you see it, buy it and re-live the processed sugar rush of your youth.

So remember, the next time you go into Tesco, grab a bottle of Breckland, demand your loaf of paysan and refuse to to leave until you get them.

www.brecklandorchard.co.uk
www.euphoriumbakery.com

Saturday, 16 May 2015

Kokoro - MK

It is a statement of fact that The Child likes eating sushi, she likes sushi in the same way that she likes olives, and she loves olives. And yoghurt. Sushi, olives and yoghurt probably at the same time if she got half the chance. Following an outstanding week and an absolutely smashed dance exam, I asked her where she wants to eat out for a treat and after I received the initial answer of 'America', we negotiated and agreed somewhere within a 10 mile radius. Kokoru has recently opened in 'intu Milton Keynes' and so it seemed a perfect excuse to sate The Child's immediate desire for sushi. It's a kiosk type affair designed for shoppers wanting to scratch their healthy lunch itch, and it seems to serve up that requirement well enough with swift service for those who need to return to work quickly (the Council offices only being across the road).

A brief word on the 'ombi-awnce', the colour scheme is minimal with white being the apparent go-to colour of choice for their interior designer. Considering that that was clearly the extent of the ambience, we chose our rolls and sat outside in the sunshine and decided that perhaps we'll leave the hot choices for another time. It's not that the place is  clearly intended to be a soulless cave waiting to devour any glimmer of happiness from your life, it's just that because it's so devoid of any personality or in fact any kind of individuality at all, that seems to be what happens by default.

Anyway, on to the food, they serve bento boxes as well as hot food served from the canteen style stainless steel buckets but we decided to go with the following for our lunch time sushi bender:



As you will know, due to the fact that my knowledge/understanding of sushi types is, as previously stated, lacking in any resemblance of sophistication or finesse, I will refer to what we ate in the following way: the salmon ones, the tuna ones, the mysterious fishy one, the prawn one, the crab stick ones and the cucumber ones.

Firstly, box one and the salmon ones. These were... OK. A bit fishy with a slice of salmon which stood up well. The tuna on the other hand was totally lost against the rice, the texture was nice and soft, if only I could actually taste the damn thing. Next up was the mysteriously fishy one - I say mysterious because while I could perhaps have made an educated guess as to the source of the mottled white rectangle, the truth is that the only reason why I knew it was a fish was because I was in a sushi restaurant*. The prawn one simply cemented the problem - was it prawn, or was it cardboard? Your answers on a postcard please! Perhaps it was the rice, or perhaps not. Either way, I suspect the problems run deeper.

Onwards to box two and the crab stick ones, these had the additional element of having been rolled in poppy seeds. It didn't save it. The Child, while she tucked into her rolls of generic fish-and-rice happily enough, she turned her nose up at this point. She had one, leaving me with the rest of the bloody box which was a struggle I don't mind telling you. They just weren't nice - the crab sticks had some kind of seafood sauce which seemed, quite contrary to expectations, make them taste even worse.

Box three then was cracked open with limited hope. but the cucumber ones were only a relative salvation. The three elements of cucumber, rice and seaweed were in proportion and individually defined - this is all good news. Well done Kokoro. However, they still didn't have any kind of memorable characteristic that would give me any reason to say; 'mmm, that is some good cucumber, seaweed and rice'.

So suffice to say, our main impression wasn't great - perhaps we'll give the hot food a try but  I have to say that the chances are slim and until I manage to get round to seeing what Akasaka in Wolverton is like, if you want sushi, go to Yo!, at least you can amuse yourself with a mini conveyer belt while they strip your wallet of cash as you walk through the door.

kokorouk.com


*And believe me, I use the term very loosely.

Monday, 11 May 2015

The Milton Keynes Food Awards - The final reckoning

Last night the edible great and the good converged at the Woburn Sculpture Gallery to celebrate another year in the Milton Keynes food calendar.  The Milton Keynes Food awards looked to celebrate and reward the Best in Class of all aspects of the food and service industry present in, or nearby Milton Keynes. They also gave everyone a lovely little cuddly cow presumably courtesy of sponsor; The Great Branding Company.





The event was fantastically well attended with the room full of lively conversation, debate and tuxedos/cocktail dresses. I was seated with the attendees from Whittlebury Hall, whom it turned out, had come en masse (ten of them) to support their entry into the chef of the year category (Nige - who didn't even know he had entered until after the fact). I immediately felt the sense of camaraderie with a team who turns out in such force to support one of their number, even if it is for the free booze. Talking to the guys, they put a good case forward for Mrs P and I to visit and I hope to do so in the near future, it's great to start building up some decent fine dining destinations.

Looking around though, Whittlebury Hall wasn't the only contingent to empty it's kitchens to spend their Sunday evening pretending that they didn't care if they won or not; local pubs, independent restaurant as well as the highstreet chains rubbed shoulders with micro producers and growing suppliers who all put in a sterling performance with spare chairs being the real premium of the evening.

Before we get to the food, I must give a quick shout out to The Shures. Well, more precisely to the young mans amazing shoes, which could, quite legitimately, have been used to impress Bear Grylls by spearing fish in a Indonesian survival situation. As remarkable as their dress sense was though, they performed admirably and kept the room going through the evening, well done boys.

Interspersed between the awards, entertainment and gawping at the paintings/sculptures we also had food. I think it's fair to say that through the course of the evening, the kitchen struggled. In fairness, catering for an audience comprised solely of chefs and associated professional foodies is going to be really, really tough. But then trying to do it for 200 of them all at the same time is a Herculean task reserved only for the terminally foolish of the industry. Because the evening should be all about the celebration of the winners, it would be unfair to concentrate on those areas which didn't quite meet perfection. So I'll only briefly run through the dishes just to give you a sense of what kept us all going through the evening. 



Firstly, a vegetable terrine with parmesan crisp and leafy greens at the back. Nicely seasoned, it held together well and the crisp had some serious cheesiness to it.



Venison with roast potatoes, cabbage and puree. This was... underdone, but the gravy was good.



Finally, the desert looked pretty and tasted great too. The biscuit was my favourite part of the dish but the strawberry mousse held up well and there wasn't a single plate on the table which wasn't cleaned off. 

For those of us who were driving back home, the Virtual Orchard had put on bottles of their apple juice for the tables, and I have to say that it was quite delicious. I'll have to seek out a few more of those at home.

So for a full list of the winners, keep your eye on the MKFA website and you'll be able to catch up with all the movers and shakers in the area. There were certainly a few surprises in the mix and a few results that I wouldn't have predicted!

Here are a few highlights from what I can remember:

Best Restaurant: Woburn Brasserie
Best use of local ingredients: The Bell and Bear 
Best Cafe: MK Coffee Shop
Best Family Restaurant: Red Hot World Buffet
Best Branded Restaurant: Chiquito
Best local product (food): Moo Kow Jam

I'll link back to the full list once it's revealed. But for now, I'll sign off with the overriding memories of a night filled with fun, laughter and a whole lot of people who were not thinking about going into work the following morning.

And here is a statue of a bloke with his knob out - he proved popular with the room all night long, usually in scenarios involving the stuffed cows. I'll leave you to work out the details.