A month on benefits

I know I shouldn’t, but I was watching Channel 5 just after Christmas when my senses were assaulted by a program entitled ‘Too fat to work’. I have to be careful here because you have already judged me or my opinions and I quite agree because I also found myself judging myself for watching the terrible, lazy, right-wing pushing, sensationalist journalism that was being beamed at my face. The program was designed to enrage and shock, it was calculated to create a ‘how dare they’ attitude and a ‘I’m paying my taxes for that??’ rant. I will fully admit that I started that way myself. The longer I watched, the more I was sucked into the editors bias cut of these peoples lives.

If you didn’t have the pleasure of watching this glimpse into the minds of the most exploitative people I have thankfully never met (and I’m talking about the production company here), then please visit 5 On Demand and take a swizz. In the meantime, and after I had been somewhat calmed by Mrs P, I reflected on why exactly had I been so angry. Was it the work vs. benefit culture debate? I don’t think so, I understand that these families represent a tiny and extreme example of the whole. Was it the apparent ‘life owes me’ attitude displayed? Not really, if real at all, I expect this was magnified to an ‘entertaining’ extreme by the program itself. No, I think what really bagged me a fighting tiger were the references, particularly by a single mother towards her overweight daughter, that they couldn’t afford to eat properly with the money they receive on benefits.

Now, again, I have to be careful and highlight that I truly believe that this statement, at the risk of repeating myself, is a small example and cannot be said to represent a larger whole. However, it really struck a chord with me because it seems to be a popular mantra at the moment usually by the Daily Mail represented right wing to support a populist hard line against ‘benefit scroungers’, but on the other side of the argument, can I deny the increasing trend of obesity and the reported weight related issues with those on benefits? Personally, I would say that the problem starts at home. How much would you pay for getting those extra minutes in front of the telly? I’m not just talking about money here, I’m talking about time, health and energy. It seems to me that the price of ‘convenience’ (and by that I mean spending as little time in the kitchen as possible), presents as a slow decline in the ability and understanding of the population at large to care about food and cooking. Something inside does not allow me to accept that in 2015 a family cannot afford to eat appropriately on benefits, but at the same time who am I to pass comment? Yes, I have lived on benefits but not for very long and I certainly didn’t have to support a family.

So let’s find out shall we? Let’s find out exactly how difficult it is to feed a family of three on the equivalent benefits that would be available if we weren’t working.

First, full disclosure; I am clearly not going to live totally on benefits for a month. That would be very difficult to organize and actually not really what I am interested in. I want to confirm to myself that a family can eat good, healthy food on a budget limited by the current benefit system. Therefore, because I want to make sure I do this as genuinely as possible and get an impression of the true pressures that comes with the situation, I need to understand exactly how much money I’ll have. I should also highlight here that I’m sure that people can look at my calculations below and find holes, this isn’t right or that isn’t fair etc. All I will say to that is, I tried to take average values where possible and sense checked all of this with two single parent families I know who have lived on benefits for a considerable period of time. I have also used only very basic benefit calculations, no utility discounts or additional disability payments – I am trying to replicate the real base level of value available.

A quick look at www.entitledto.co.uk gives me just the information I need. Two adults, not working and a dependent child living in an average two bedroom semi in Milton Keynes will receive 36 pence short of 400 quid a week. That includes part of the council tax and rent but nothing else.

Entitlement	per year	per week	notes	how to apply?
Tax Credits	£3,299.60	£63.45	Child tax credit.	How to apply for Tax Credits
Jobseeker's Allowance	£5,928.64	£113.70	Your entitlement is made up of £113.70 in income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance.	How to apply for Jobseeker's Allowance
Council Tax Support	£886.01	£16.99	Your full Council Tax bill of £21.24 per week will be reduced to £4.25 per week because of your entitlement to Council Tax Support.	How to apply for Council Tax Support
Housing Benefit	£9,620.00	£185.00	You should not have to pay rent as you qualify for full Housing Benefit. For more information on what qualifies see eligible rent for Housing Benefit.	How to apply for Housing Benefit
Child Benefit	£1,066.00	£20.50		How to apply for Child Benefit
Total Entitlements	£20,800.25	£399.64

Average costs of utilities were researched here:

http://www.ukpower.co.uk/home_energy/average-energy-bill

http://www.electricityprices.org.uk/average-electricity-bill/

http://www.under-one-roof.org.uk/Cost+of+a+new+home/Water,+gas+and+electricity+costs.aspx

I then added in TV and phone costs which I would consider essential for most families these days. Therefore, a fixed monthly cost of £163.13 against an available monthly income of £930.10 after rent is removed.

That then gives us a monthly total of £766.97 for disposable income but here is the big assumption; I’ve taken 30% to cover food costs. Which gives me a £230.09 a month or £57.52 a week. I’m talking about just food here, nothing else, not washing powder, light bulbs or pet food. Now, I know that some people have to include all these things in their weekly shop but this experiment is about the consumables and I figure that £536.88 a month would be enough to cover the other basic, household costs and more so no moaning or whining please!

So how to start? I’ve noticed that most budget recipes calculate pinches of this or teaspoons of that – 1p or 2p here or there. That’s fine if you’ve already bought the jar but I feel that would give me the opportunity to cheat. I’ve already got a store cupboard built up and replenish it every few months so the only way I can be sure that this experiment is representative is to assume the cupboard is bare, therefore everything that we eat will be costed from full bought packs. I am also assuming that a kitchen would have at least a frying pan, saucepan, a knife and an oven. I’m hoping that’s fairly safe and free from controversy.

Now, what constitutes healthy eating? I'm going to have a couple of very simple rules; firstly, no ready meals. In my, humble and totally non-professional opinion, ready meals are one of the main driving factors in destroying the joy of cooking. So, no pre-packed, ready to go or made for your convenience all-in-one dinners, sauces or anything else that is ready in two minutes or less. I'm not talking about cutting out everything that's processed here but if you are confused about the difference between the use of ketchup and a pre-made pasta sauce then fire up Google and educate yourself. 

Secondly, at least three portions of fruit and veg a day. I know, I know I should go for five but this is the real world so let's be realistic here, with portion control and a decent amount of exercise, I'll be happy with three good portions per person per day.

So - we start on Sunday... best get planning!! 

Chicken Sandwiches

First of all - I'll warn you: This is not a post with pictures. I just ate a chicken sandwich, and  I had to write about the experience  before I forgot just how good it was. Spoilers - it was really good.

I didn't have a particularly bad day and I didn't have a particularly great day but I got home and just wasn't very hungry. I made the Child dinner then Mrs P and I settled down for a bit. After a while I got the munchies so I butterflied a couple of chicken breasts, seasoned with sea salt and cracked black pepper, sprinkled them with smoked paprika and cayenne then fried them until crispy on the edges, blackened on the outside and juicy in the middle. That would have been awesome just as it was but then cut and rested, the now almost irresistible chicken was transferred to a multigrain farmhouse slice of malty perfection layered with a splurge of mayo, then topped with crispy iceberg lettuce, scattered with capers and the merest swipe of ketchup.

Warming, crisp, sweet and salty in every bite, very much like Mrs P.

There were no pictures because it didn't make it out of the kitchen before I gave into temptation and scoffed half of it. Perhaps next time. There isn't really a recipe because who needs a recipe to make a chicken sandwich?? Get chicken (good), fry chicken (always good), stick in nice bread (still good) and cover with other stuff you like = goddam awesome sandwich. Why would anyone do it any other way??? 

Salerno's Italian - Tewkesbury

What happens when you collect 40 members of a single family together for a weekend? Apart from the drinking, carousing and general merrymaking, there is invariably quite a lot of 'discussion' about, well everything really. By 'discussion' I mean the kind of conversation which is about somewhat time sensitive topics, like 'we should eat dinner' but which usually doesn't actually result in any physical action.

Mrs P, the Child and I went to such an event last December and were caught in the family roundabout whose pull to inaction is stronger than the USS Enterprises tractor beam. Quangos were created, I expect there were sub-committees voted upon before finally we found ourselves in Salerno's with a splinter group who had braved the consternation of the main party and dared to leave the hotel before everyone had agreed.

Salerno's is a small family run Italian place on Tewkesbury high street, really nothing to look at from the outside but on the inside it was homely and bright with warm colours throughout giving a rustic feel. This was not high-end dining but rather wanted to give a cosy cuddle on a Friday night.

I started, as I usually do, by asking the waiter where he kept his Limoncello. His answer? 'In the fridge but we can put it in the freezer if you want'. Yes my friend, I do want. If you know where it should be, why do you put it anywhere else??

I chose the chicken risotto and Mrs P chose the seafood spaghetti. One of us chose correctly, I'll give you a hint - it was me. Both plates looked pretty good, certainly as good as a blog standard Italian restaurant in Tewkesbury could hope for. The risotto was nice, seasoned well with some lovely big shards of parmesan. The peas brought a lovely sweetness counterpoint to the salty cheese. The spaghetti was dried rather than fresh but it was the sauce that just lacked any punch. Mrs P had to add more salt which is almost unheard of. The whole table certainly ate and drank well with several bottles of wine for an almost reasonable thirty pounds per person for mains, drinks and puds to share. 

It all sounds pretty good right? Not too bad? OK? Wrong. This place was bad, so bad their Nonna and Nonno would be ashamed. Why? They served their Limoncello from the fridge. 'But Rob!' I hear you cry, 'calm down, plenty of bad Italian restaurants serve their Limoncello from the fridge, you don't break your foot off in their arse! Give these guys a break'. And I would have done, I really would if it wasn't for one fact: they knew. They knew it should have been in the freezer and they still didn't do it. For shame, shame on them.

http://salernoitalianrestaurant.co.uk

Best Western Wittekindshof - Dortmund

Happy New Year one and all - I hope you, as I did, indulged to capacity over the Festive period and you are, as I am, fully committed to returning to the laugh-a-minute reality of the office. Oh yes, fully committed and living the dream.

I have a couple of other posts lined up as I hope to re-invigorate this blog after tailing off slightly towards the end of last year, although moving house did take up more time/effort/mental capacity than I was expecting. But in the meantime I should finish off a couple that are hanging over from 2014. You may remember I went to Dortmund at the beginning of December and I was pleased to see that our standard hotel had had a makeover. As an aside, we do seem to end up at Best Western quite a lot these days although a few years ago I know that the Holiday Inn group were favoured. For me, the Best Western hotels have certainly improved over the last few years and are at least more interesting than a Holiday Inn!

Anyway, I had one meal there and I took a snap of the German menu with it's English translation:

Anyone fancy some Sunchoke or Rutabaga? Now, while I have eaten many things, those are not among them. A clear case of Google translate gone mental it seems.

In the end I couldn't resist the pull of a good sunchoke (or artichoke for you and me) with quail and I went with that. It was nice and creamy with the quail and paprika bringing in a needed depth. In general it was soft, warming and not bad at all. It didn't look very pretty but at least they gave it a go with some odd green powder and a flash of balsamic reduction.

Then a half decent steak with dauphinaise potatoes, a weird herby baked tomato and nasty, nasty whipped, flavoured butter. I wonder if you can guess what I liked/didn't like about this dish? At least the steak was cooked and seasoned well. All in all, what with the plastic antler chandelier, fur lined bar stools, amusing menu, nice soup, weird tomatoes and horrid whipped butter, I would say that this place does it's job and after all that, I still managed to find time for some decent local beer. And they come in one and a half pint steins - boom. 

Emil - Dortmund

Have you ever eaten Veal? You might have, you are a bunch of adventurous food loving experimenters after all. I was always told that veal was quite possibly the worst meat in the world, unspeakably cruel and a horrendous thing to support by eating.

I've got a horrible suspicion that I ate veal last week.

The light (and the photo) was poor but since this spectre of doubt has crept over me, I have done some research and come to the conclusion that, yes it probably was veal and no it probably wasn't the good kind. Now I have to live with myself. My only saving grace is that, according to Wikipedia, the really, really bad kind has been banned since 2007, so I feel that rather than hiding away in shame and contrition maybe, just maybe, I can talk about it here.

Ooh, it was bloody delicious... all juicy and lovely. So soft and tender, it was like eating a pork chop but all beefy instead. Mmm, the plate was seasoned well with a great crust and the salad was nicely mixed if a little astringently dressed. My dining companions all ordered side dishes but I refrained knowing that additional carbs would only serve to push me off the wrong side of the culinary knife edge that is awake vs. asleep. Veal as it used to be is clearly a 'very bad thing', and it's higher welfare diversification have gone some way to dispelling that. But from where I was sitting, that was one goddamn great steak.

But we've got ahead of ourselves. First there was this:

A tomato-y type amuse bouche that my German colleagues scoffed at but I, being the obviously more travelled edible explorer tucked in. it wasn't great. Couscous isn't much at the best of times and I would hesitate before giving it away as a mark of your quality of cooking, even if it was for free. Bland and tomato sweet both at the same time, the best thing about it was that it was gone quickly.

Then the starters, these were quite interesting. Big cakes of raw meat (very German) with a quails egg, were placed next to weird wasabi mousse cheese cakes (as far away from German as I could imagine) with a quenelle of quince or fig paste (not sure on the translation and also not sure on the German heritage). These were not bad actually, and I enjoyed them - less so the wasabi cheese cake which had as much wasabi in it as my shoe. 

But finally, the talking point of the whole evening was, according to my Continental brethren, a joke so funny that it went on for hours. Literally hours. Seriously. All night. 

Behold:

'nuff said.

www.emil-dortmund.de/

Jamaica Patty Company - Leicester Square(ish)

Good grief, is it Christmas again? How quickly do the seasons change as here we are again, mobilising the family into a weekend of Christmas cheer that usually kicks off our Holiday season. We are a little early and a little thrifty this year due to the packed nature of our December 2014 but nevertheless, we were determined to have as much Christmas Spirit as possible.

As ever, we attended a West End Show (Billy Elliot this year - a little unexpectedly sweary perhaps but thankfully that went straight over the Childs head), but unfortunately that left no cash left for proper grubs (boo!). Not to be dismissed from our annual trip without any new experience however, I took a stand and dived into the Jamaica Patty Company for some Jerk chicken to warm up the cold afternoon.

Despite being a very disconcerting colour and a suspiciously familiar shape, the patty was really rather good. The colour clearly came from some kind of sweet potato which had been blended into the pastry in some kind of diabolical alliance but which was totally delicious. The chicken filling was warming but not hot and the taste of the jerk was certainly there even if it wasn't as fiery as I would have preferred. That said, the spice blend was still punchy and so tasty that Mrs P and the Child both had a few bites as the pasty-ahem-patty was passed around.

Their menu isn't exactly busting at the seams but there were quite a few options including curried goat or ackee and saltfish which I would like to try although that said,I've had saltfish before and found it very... salty. I have no idea if there are any more of these (a quick Google says not) or if any more are planned but I can certainly recommend having a go at this one. for 4 quid in central London, this is a decent snack to keep you on the go.

http://www.jamaicapatty.co.uk